It's not as if you've never been invited to a party before.
There was Aunt Upshaw's wedding reception: that time you learned, painfully,
painfully, the meaning of "garments may shrink when washed." And remember
little Chuckie Hargiss's birthday bash? You know, the one where Chuck closed
his eyes, made a wish, and blew out the candles-- then opened his eyes, looked
at you, and said "Dammit, you're still alive?!" Or your big sis's baby shower:
you thought it'd be cute to use a chamber pot as a punchbowl.
Continue to believe it: you are not a loser.
In fact, this evening, you'll be a hero.
According to Article C, Section Eight of the Tennessee State Criminal Code, it
is illegal for any person under twenty-one years of age to purchase, attempt to
purchase, or otherwise obtain alcoholic beverages.
According to Deanna Vale, head cheerleader at your high school, the first
person who can score some beer for her party tonight may sit at her cool
clique's cafeteria table all year.
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